How to Overcome Conflict Avoidance
Navigating Conflict in the Workplace: Embracing Differences for Better Outcomes
Conflict in the workplace is often viewed with dread. It brings to mind heated arguments, raised voices, and uncomfortable situations. However, when managed constructively, conflict can be a powerful catalyst for growth, creativity, and collaboration. In this post, we’ll explore the refreshing and productive ways that embracing conflict (rather than avoiding it) can maximise potential within teams and organisations.
Understanding Conflict: It’s Not All About Fighting
The word “conflict” tends to trigger images of aggression, arguments, and combative scenarios. But in the workplace, conflict is often not about a battle between “right” and “wrong.” Instead, it arises from differing perspectives, ideas, and values that need to be explored in order to reach the best possible outcome.
When we talk about conflict in professional settings, we’re usually referring to disagreement—whether it's challenging someone’s viewpoint, questioning decisions, or navigating situations that make us uncomfortable. And while the word “conflict” can be loaded with negative connotations, it's important to reframe it as an opportunity for constructive dialogue.
As one of our guests, Jo Bamford, who has a background in occupational psychology, explained, conflict often comes with a strong emotional charge—racing heartbeats, rising blood pressure, and defensive behavior. However, when we recognise these reactions, we can manage them effectively and use conflict as a tool for growth rather than a barrier to progress.
The Dangers of Conflict Avoidance
You might have heard the saying, “Kicking the can down the road”—that’s essentially what happens when we avoid conflict. Conflict avoidance, often driven by the desire for peace and harmony, may seem like the path of least resistance, but in the long run, it can actually cause more frustration and hinder progress.
Jo describes how, over time, avoiding difficult conversations can create tension, missed opportunities for improvement, and even frustration among team members. In her experience, those who avoid conflict may silently build resentment or disengage, and this avoidance leads to even deeper issues down the road.
The well-intended desire to keep things “pleasant” often leads to unresolved tensions, which can fester and create a more toxic work environment. Instead of sidestepping disagreements, it's crucial to address them head-on. By doing so in a calm, respectful, and open-minded way, teams can engage in healthy debates that foster innovation and growth.
A New Approach: Embrace Conflict with Curiosity
One of the most valuable skills in navigating conflict is curiosity. As Gemma mentioned, learning to approach conflict with curiosity—by actively listening to other perspectives and asking open-ended questions—can be transformative. This is a core principle in coaching, where the goal is to be genuinely interested in understanding someone else’s viewpoint without the fear of being "wrong" or "disagreeable."
Jo also shared how her approach to conflict is rooted in a desire to challenge constructively. Instead of avoiding tough conversations, she welcomes them—especially when there is an opportunity to explore different ideas and perspectives. She has found that bringing kindness and intention into conflict discussions allows for greater understanding and, ultimately, better outcomes.
A great example of this occurred during a leadership workshop Jo and Gemma co-facilitated, where a participant disagreed vocally with Jo. Instead of defending her point or avoiding the disagreement, Jo welcomed the challenge with enthusiasm. She invited the participant to share more, and through that respectful exchange, the group was able to explore a broader set of ideas and reach a more robust conclusion.
The Power of Different Perspectives
When we look at conflict as an opportunity to rethink our assumptions, it becomes a powerful tool for personal and team growth. As Jo explains, by challenging each other’s ideas, we can achieve better results than if we simply "agree to disagree." This mindset shift—viewing conflict as an avenue for learning and improvement—is what allows teams to reach their full potential.
A compelling example comes from Matthew Syed's book Rebel Ideas, where he encourages leaders to seek out rebels—people who will challenge the status quo and offer fresh perspectives—rather than surround themselves with people who merely confirm their existing beliefs (the “clones”). This is key to breaking out of echo chambers and fostering innovative problem-solving.
Gemma’s own experience reflects this philosophy. In her work, she’s learned that inviting differing viewpoints often leads to better decision-making and more creative outcomes. She urges teams to move beyond binary thinking ("I’m right, you’re wrong") and embrace the idea that the best solution might be a blend of multiple perspectives.
Practical Tips for Managing Conflict Effectively
Reframe Conflict as Collaboration
Instead of seeing conflict as a threat, view it as an opportunity for collaboration. The best outcomes often come from combining different perspectives into a new solution.Create a Safe Space for Open Dialogue
Encourage open conversations where team members feel comfortable sharing disagreements without fear of judgment or reprisal. As Jo highlights, psychological safety—the belief that it’s safe to speak up—makes it easier to have productive conflict.Be Curious, Not Defensive
Approach conflict with curiosity. Ask questions like, “What makes you see it that way?” or “Can you help me understand your perspective?” This invites more dialogue and fosters mutual respect.Embrace Constructive Challenges
Don’t shy away from challenging ideas. Invite others to critique your proposals and vice versa. This openness creates a culture of continuous improvement and fosters trust within teams.Recognise the Value of Disagreement
Understand that disagreement is natural and beneficial. When managed well, it leads to better decision-making and more innovative solutions. Be intentional about seeking out those who challenge your thinking.
Conclusion: Turning Conflict into an Opportunity
Conflict, while often uncomfortable, is a natural and healthy part of any team dynamic. By embracing conflict with curiosity and kindness, we can create environments where differing perspectives are valued and leveraged for better outcomes.
As Jo and Gemma shared, it’s the embrace of diverse viewpoints and the willingness to explore conflict that helps organisations, teams, and individuals maximise their potential. By seeking out the rebels, not the clones, we can achieve richer, more innovative solutions.
Next time conflict arises in your workplace, try to reframe it as a chance to learn, collaborate, and grow. With the right approach, it may just be the spark your team needs to take things to the next level.
Call to Action:
How do you approach conflict in your workplace? Do you tend to avoid it, or do you welcome differing opinions? Share your thoughts in the comments or join the conversation on social media!